Whoever Stole Aerosmith Needs To Return Them

I saw a FB status update today with a line from Aerosmith's "Rag Doll", and it got me to thinking: what the crap happened to Aerosmith?!?!

I mean really. One minute they're the biggest band in the world, the next they're, well, I don't know what happened to them. They disappeared. I've checked underneath the bed, between the cushions, behind the shed...no Aerosmith.

I've checked the TV. No Dancing w/ the Stars appearances, or Aerosmith night on American Idol. It's because of the latter that I fear not only have they disappeared, but the minds of the American public are slowly having all Aerosmith-related memories erased by some MKULTRA-type government cover-up.

I want my Aerosmith back. I want "Rag Doll", "What It Takes", "Crazy/Amazing/Cryin'". Heck, I'll even accept "Nine Lives" and "Jaded".

We need you Aerosmith. We need you to get "Back In the Saddle" again, ride back into the spotlight, and kick our faces in with your rock. I want to feel the excited confusion of the part in your live show where you sing "Janie's Got A Gun", making me wonder if I should be rocking out to hard to a song about an incestuous rape victim.

Aerosmith, please come back. We'll even let you play some of your "blues" record you put out just before you vanished. Just come back. And if you could, bring Alicia Silverstone and Liv Tyler back with you. I know, I know. I ask for too much now.

One last request, Aerosmith...no new songs. I just want my old Aerosmith back.

Adam